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19/06/2007 My dad was brought up in an environment where men were supposed to be hard and not show emotion. Yet when I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life and spoke to him about it, he backed me and told me that he would be there for me whenever I needed him. As a young man of 19 he went away to war, this certainly had an impact on him; however he never spoke of it to his family or me. I never knew that he had been to war until I was in my teens, I wish he had been able to sit with me to recount his experiences, I am sure it would have been good for him to get those memories and experiences out of his head and I would have enjoyed being a part of it by sharing it with him. I am very proud of my Dad, in the man he was and still is to me, and what he did as a young man. I think in later life he realised that he had a family that loved him; although he never said it I know he loved us all. I loved my Dad unfortunately I never got the chance to tell him that. My Dad was a hero in so many ways to all of us, not least of all when he was diagnosed with lung cancer and told he only had a year to live. He would not tell my Mum about it or what lay ahead. I know he was scared but he did not show it as always he took it on the chin. He did not want to upset or worry her, it must have been terribly hard burden for him over the last few weeks of his life, and no one can imagine it unless it happens to them.He knew he would never see her or us again, but as always he grinned and bared it right up to the end. He never complained or asked why it had happened to him. If there is one thing I have learned form my experiences with my Dad, it’s to make sure I tell my children how much I love them and how much they mean to me, life is too short not to, none of us knows what’s around the corner. Dad, I will never forget you or what you for me and for all of us as a family, there is hardly a day goes by when I don’t think of you or speak of you. Miss you. Love you always Dad 19/06/2007 I miss you dad. I’m always trying to go as back as far as I can and bring to my mind my first ever memory of you. I have a vague recollection of living in Wellington Barracks, Bury, Manchester. We all lived in ‘married quarters’. I can just about remember you in uniform and working in the stores. I remember too when you shot a dog because it attacked a cow in a field nearby. Strange that I recall that. I must have only been about 4 or 5 years old at the time. Next memory I think has to be in Brabazon Square. About 1960. You would put Sean, Bernie and myself to bed. (Denise didn’t arrive until 1964) We would then ask you to tell us a story. I used to love those times. You would tell us the most fascinating tales of your time during the war. But never with any gruesome details or sad endings. They were always adventurous tales of fun and you held us captive until the very end. Then of course was the usual ‘Dark, Dark Street’ episode which always ended up with your saying very slowly – Dark…… Dark……. Ghost! This would frighten the life out of us. But I loved it. What I didn’t love was Saturday nights. That was when you would give us all a bath, one by one in front of the fire. It was a tin bath. And how you used that sponge to work up suds. They always went up my nose! Painting and decorating were your speciality. Every Christmas you would re-paper the sitting room and paint the doors. You used to let us help you ‘trim’ the edges off the wallpaper and then play with the excess paper. And I remember helping you mix the paste too. And we were one of the first people in the Square to have a car. Well a van actually, that you had on loan for the company you worked for. Uncle Kevin taught you to drive. The memories continue. As I reached my teens you and I had a lot of ‘differences’. But somehow we managed to get over them. I realise now anything you said or did were for my own good and I would like to think that today I am a better person because of the way you brought me up. Correcting and advising me in all areas of my adult life. You’ve passed on many values for which I am and will always be truly grateful for - and - hopefully I in turn can pass these values on to my children. Speaking of my children, I know how fond you were of Anthony, Vincent, Jane and Gerard. Always encouraging each one and never doubting their ability to do anything they wanted. You always told me how proud you were of them and were always thrilled to see them come and visit. And I know dad, how much they all loved you. They still do, and miss you very much. And what about Tony? I know you two were very close – but I still don’t know who encouraged who to do what!! He loved going out with you for ‘a pint’. When you left us dad, Tony lost a friend and a buddy. You have a special place in his heart, I know that for sure. Like the children, he still misses you too. With our Katelyn arriving I became the ‘grand-parent’, but you would always have the best position of ‘patriarch’. I’m sorry you won’t get to see Katelyn grow up. I know she would have loved you and you would have been smitten with her. As she grows up I will tell her all about ‘great-grandad Bernard. I have so much to tell her, and in a way this tribute will be a good start. I cannot finish without mentioning mam. I know how much you loved her. That showed so much. I remember when I was very young, you handing up your pay packet – UNOPENED! I don’t think too many men would do that nowadays. And I always remember when Bernie and Denise and myself would go shopping you never questioned what she spent. As a matter of fact if she mentioned seeing something but didn’t buy it you made sure she went back next day and bought it. Generous, that’s what you were. You never ever question what money she spent, or for that matter who she gave it to. As you got older and mam got sick you looked after her full time. Cooking her meals, making sure she got her tablets on time. And even doing the shopping with her. Dressing her, cleaning her. You really did mean for better or for worse. Mam loved the fact that you were English. She didn’t always let on, but she said it more than once to me. I know she misses you dad, when she remembers that is. But I’m making sure she doesn’t forget you Dad, despite her illness. When we used to go to Blackpool you and mam went everywhere together. (Except if mam slipped out early in the morning to go to the market!) They were great trips. The whole gang of us. (And you were paying for us all, another aspect of your generosity.) Walking along the prom, in the Tower Ballroom. And the British Legion club. What a laugh, you trying to get us all in on one pass!! And finally dad, looking back on the ‘Family Tree’ I have compiled, I just want to say how grateful I am to you for all the information and photographs you gave me. You never got fed up with me asking questions. I learned so much about the ‘Gregory’ side of the family that it will be hard to find out very much more. I am so proud to be your daughter. I am so proud to be part of the ‘Gregory’ clan. I am so very proud to call you My Dad. Love and miss you always, Eileen x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x Like any father and daughter we had our ups and downs, but all in all we did love each other. I am proud to be your daughter. Love Denise. Never, forgotten, Tony. I met him in the last year of his life, his humour, generosity and verve for life God Bless Bernard x True Brit Look to your country and set yourself a goal Wherever you are in the world there’ll be A sense of honour and worth Carol 24th November 2009 It’s taken me so long to write this because I wanted it to be real; I wanted to say what I really meant and not just say something for the sake of it. It would have been easy to do that as thinking about how much you meant to me upsets me too much. I’m laughing here (in between tears), as I think about how you always just said EXACTLY what you meant. You didn’t beat around the bush; you just said it like it was. (This sometimes got you into trouble as it does with me) It was that directness that instilled such confidence in me that you meant it when you said you were proud of me and I could do anything. As I read everyone else’s tributes the recurring theme I noticed was your unconditional love and support for us no matter what we did. As long as we were happy, so were you. My tribute to you is more than this little paragraph; it’s an indelible reminder of you and what you stood for. This tattoo:
Grandad, it’s been four years and I still miss you as much as I did the day you left us. You were a huge part of our whole family’s lives. I couldn’t be prouder to say you’re my Grandfather. I love you so much xxx
“So far away from where you are I have struggled over the last 3 years since Mum passed away to sit and write how I feel about her, I have gone over and over it in my head and I could never be happy with what I was trying to say, so I have just decided not to plan to write about my mum but to write what comes naturally to me, I hope that everyone who reads this will know where I an coming from. What can I say about my mum? She was a wonderful mother, a great friend and a great laugh. She was my world. I remember loads about my mum but all the best memories are of when we went to Blackpool, in the UK, as a family. Those times will be forever etched on my mind; it always seemed that she was at her best when we were over there. She loved the fact that we went as a whole family, me, my sisters, all the spouses, and grandchildren. My mum will always be remembered by her family which includes all her sisters, nieces, and her children, grandchildren for her love of knitting, crochet and patchwork; there is not one of us who does not have some wonderful work that she did as a special memento. Unfortunately the last few years of my mum’s life were not happy for her; she had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and Alzheimer’s. Her husband Bernard, my father died in November 2005 and she was not aware of this, she spent the last 2 years of her life in a Nursing home where she received exceptional care. I and my 3 sisters spent those 2 years visiting her, there was one of us with her everyday, it was sad to see the mum I loved like that having to rely on someone to look after you’re every need, and it was like she had reverted to a child. In the early part of her stay she would recognise us as her children but as the months wore on we could see the change in her, she would not remember our names or who we were. Those 2 years were the worst in my life, it was very sad to watch the woman you loved, who gave birth to you, who nourished you, who looked after you who you could confide in slowly slip away from you and that you can do nothing but watch, it still hurts me to think about what she must have been going through, not knowing who she was, who we were, why she was where she was, why she had no home of her own. She could not understand what was happening, she was so frightened and confused. My mother meant so much to me, I miss her so much still, I have wonderful memories of her and I will never ever forget her, she lives on in all of us that were touched by her love and caring. She gave all of us some of her qualities and taught us how to become good and caring people. Mum I miss and love you so much, your loving son always, Sean X X X X
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